If falling for you is crazy, then i'm going out of my mind.

2009-08-17T20:25:00.001+08:00

lovecomesdown.onsugar.com

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

2009-08-14T21:25:00.000+08:00

I love you for a million reasons,
no paper would ever do it justice.
its a thing not of the mind,
but of the heart.
a feeling, only felt.
There are moments when i don't know if its real,
or if anybody feels the way i feel.

I CAN'T STUDY BIO.

Truth be told i miss you, and truth be told I'm lying.

2009-08-14T21:10:00.000+08:00

I've certainly had moments of great highs where I felt as though I were standing in the middle of a mountain stream with fishing pole in hand and the afternoon sunlight playing over my shoulders as if pouring from out Pan’s pipes into my soul. A sense of timelessness, purity, and simplicity. That “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” feeling that just creeps up on a body like childrens’ toes over the edge of a boat just coasting across the water.

Yet, then there were moments to weep over when I felt frightened and betrayed by some outside force which seemed so far beyond my range of understanding, where I realized I had no life experience to fall back upon to help guide me through. Nothing with which I could say to myself, with confidence,”I survived that so I can make it through this.”

OMG, i don't wanna use blogger anymore!
i think i might go make a new blog.
blogger sucks - i can't change font, post pictures and even the font size!):

ndp celebration

2009-08-07T18:15:00.001+08:00

this year, this time, this date will be:
04:05:06 07/08/09
such a consecutive sequence will never happen again.

I think my eyes have been exposed to too much tkam,
and now, they hurt and i feel tired.
but i am supposed to be studying, not blogging.
why am i doing this.
stupid bloger doesn't allow me to put my pictures.
gah):

Anyway, today's ndp celebration was alright.
we didn't do much, so it wasn't that great.
oh and the screwed tatoos won't come off!
i washed and washed and washed, but it still refused to come off me.
stupid, now my face is red because i rubbed it too hard.

exams are coming and im not studying,
i must be crazy.
ok i'm gonna like chiong everything now,
and try to shove as much as i can into my hugehuge brain,
i am not gonna be blogging until exams are over and blogger lets me post pictures.

2009-08-02T20:23:00.002+08:00

i can't study,
whats wrong with me. i suddenly feel so tired.
i don't wanna go back to school.
life sucks.
ftw.
fml.
fsth.
go figure.

Here we go, go, go again

2009-07-31T16:26:00.003+08:00

I throw all you stuff away
then i clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
and ignore all your messages.
I tell everyone that we're through cause im so much better without you.
But its just another pretty lie,
cause i break down everytime you come around.

So how did you get here under my skin,
swore that i'd never let you back in
should've known better than trying to let you go
Cause here we go again.

Guilty pleasure

2009-07-30T17:37:00.003+08:00

I'm a nightmare, a disaster, thats what they always say.

I'm a lost cause, not a hero.

You know how you stand and stand and stand in line for the most gigantic incredible roller coaster you've ever dared attempt.
Anticipation swelling, minute by minute by minute, you choose to wait even longer to ride the front car and finally its your turn.
They buckle you in, lock the safety bar with a jolting cluck! Hook engaged, the chain jerks you forward. You start to climb.
Cresting the top, time moves into overtime as you wait for that scant hesitation, just before you drop.
You know how you feel at that instant? Well, thats exactly how it feels when you shake hands with a monster.

Destiny is for losers.

It's just a lame excuse for letting things happen to you instead of making them happen.

blogger can go to hell

2009-07-27T10:48:00.001+08:00

i can't blog

RHD

2009-07-24T22:38:00.004+08:00

We celebrated racial harmony day today!
it was awesome, cos we went over to 3a2 for chinese!(:
last night, i jokingly messaged sha to bring an indian costume for me,
and she went to call kiran to bring for me.
And kiran had to search through her cupboard in the middle of the night to find smth,
and since it was raining in the morning, she had to carry it in the rain.
haha, that made me feel so bad, so i decided to wear the costume she brought for me.
it was very uncomfortable.
MY BLUE BRA COULD BE SEEN. (shabbna was totally grabbing the opportunity to take advantage of me)
The entire time during our lit test i could see it,
and i was being distracted by it.

After school, i stayed back at the track to watch deanna throw her mace.
it was cool, she's not bad actually.
then we went to jx's hse.
where she totally forced so much food on me(:
and in the end, i didn't even run, which made me feel fat all over again.
oh we also found blogs that actually shows what your mind is like.
SOUNDS SO COMPLICATEDLY CHEEM.

overall, today was pretty alright.
i looked funny in the costume though.
And ppl probably took the opportunity to take blackmail pics of me):
but going over to 3a2 for chinese made my day.

Yesterday,

2009-07-24T20:35:00.003+08:00

People think that if you love somebody hard enough then everything is just gonna work out.

People are wrong.

Angels & Airwaves

2009-07-23T22:07:00.004+08:00

I feel like I'm getting pushed and shoved in the wave of people, making me just another ordinary person; yet more alone than ever.

I haven't blogged for the longest time,

tmr we're celebrating racial harmony and i wanna wear smth but i dont have anything):

i feel so stressed, so many tests!!

anyway, the leadership forum was today.

omg the speeches were a little boring but buffet time was damn hilarious.

sha was showing us to the table where she was sitting and we put our stuff there,

so while we were queueing up for the food,

i asked sha who she was sitting with,

and she looked at the table where we put our stuff and realised that it was the wrong table!

hahaa, we spent the entire night laughing for no specific reason,

me and deanna folded airplanes!(: actually it was just her, i on the other hand, folded a nice rocket:D

it was totally cool.

anyway, cjy is gonna make me rewrite my freaking compo cos she doesn't believe i wrote it.

how can a teacher bring herself to say such things to her students.

stupid pos/a so irritating.

Physics test today was managable but fail-able.

i am gonna fail cos i don't think he will accept my ans.

i wrote: it is a vacuum there is no pressure?!

gah, im bad at physics!):

chem lesson was funny today,

we did smth funny on the net!-hahaha.

english oral however was a total disaster.

i am gonna fail.

for one, i didn't even look at her when i was reading the passage.

And thanks to my stupid huge ulcer and braces i couldn't pronounce properly.

picture totally sucked.

and conversation was short.

plus, she asked me the dangerous question! - do you have anything else you would like to say?

gah when a teacher asks that question it means you're gonna fail!

shit man.

ok lit test tmr, i guess im gonna sleep now or smth.

im starting to sleep very early lately(:

We're falling apart,

2009-07-18T21:42:00.003+08:00

I have the tendency to say things that aren't meant to be said and i'm sorry for that.

I don't know what i'm thinking,
where did i go wrong.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, probably under the influence of bel,
thinking is bad.
it makes me think of all the different possibilites why ppl do things, and why they don't.
And after that much amount of thinking,
it makes me feel so weird and uneasy.
I'm starting to doubt things that i shouldn't, but i just can't erase that thought out of my mind.
honestly, i want this feeling to go away.
i feel used and pathetic.
there are so many uncertainties and questions that have yet to be answered.

I had competition today,
i partnered jiaxuan for doubles and we played with these two really damn huge guys.
haha and we couldn't stop laughing
our coach was laughing with us too.
i like her, she's nice.
and we tried to take her unglams(:

i have go for competition again tmr.
so boringg.
wtv, im going to watch harry potter now.

If my words were as clear as my thought, people would understand me a hell of a lot better

2009-07-17T21:39:00.006+08:00

Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less.

You've got to risk love Sandra! I didn't and look at me, I'm a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love.

I wish I could believe in all this crap, I really do. I also wish I could believe in the Easter Bunny, the missile shield and strippers with a heart of gold. Unfortunately I am condemned to see the world as it really is,

and love, love is a myth .

Love is magical comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat!

I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less.
Nobody proves that better than my kid brother, Pauli.
Brother, you give love to everyone and you require none in return.
From this day on, I want to be more like you.

If there is one thing you learn tonight, it's this.
The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less.

Life, you know, it's like a quick cup of coffee,
if you haven't got the guts to love someone, love them with all you've got,
then you end up drinking alone.

Goodbye never lasts,

2009-07-17T21:14:00.008+08:00

We stood on the beach watching the fireworks.

You hugged her closed and kissed her.

I never felt more alone in my life.

it shouldn't have been her,

It should have been me.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

"If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back

as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?" -Chuck

Your heart is my pinata.

D.I.S.C

2009-07-14T21:25:00.002+08:00

I can't believe how quickly i forget things,
i initially had a lot on my mind to blog about
but i totally forgot about them all.

during lit today, we were talking about the d.i.s.c thingy that we took when we were sec one.
so apparently (if i remembered correctly) i was a very high D and D-S.
so i was asking mr ng to tell me about D-S.
and he said that those two characteristics do not complement each other,
and he says that sometimes my D side will come out,
and other times my S side will come out.
IN CONCLUSION, I HAVE SPLIT PERSONALITY.
omg, so untrue lah.
i totally have one personality only.

Anyway, it was su-may's birthday today.
i feel so loser. gosh, i couldn't give her a happy birthday.
i think i'm extremely horrible at birthdays.
gah, i feel so mean.
and i totally don't get why no one likes my "SU-MAY'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT IDEA"
its like so good!

I had training again today,
it was totally useless and boring.
i went jogging after training, which i hope was effective and helped me lose one kg or so(:

I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me.

2009-07-14T21:16:00.004+08:00

Brick walls are there for reason;
they let us prove how badly we want things.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

You've got your reasons, but i didn't need them

2009-07-13T21:59:00.003+08:00

You don't have to read the previous post if its too long.
i just felt like posting a super long post with loads of pics.
Sometimes i wonder if she even regards me as her friend,
if people were given points for making me look like a fool,
you would've won easily by a landslide.

i'm sorry to people who actually read my blog.
i just felt like locking it,
why am i saying this when no one else but me will be able to read it.
wtv, i feel like i owe my blog an explanation.
oys, that came out really stupid.
i guess i need a break(:

2009-07-13T21:15:00.005+08:00

The fastest way to ruin something beautiful

is to think about it.

Replace fear of the unknown

with curiosity.

If you're not failing everything now and again,

it's a sign you're not doing anything

very innovative.

Modern Art= I could do that + yeah, but you didn't.

Love is the extremely difficult realization

that something other than oneself is real.

Love is a blind whore with mental

disease and no sense of humour.

We spend too long thinking about tomorrow

when we could be learning from the yesterday we

wanted to be today.

Don't look back, unless its a good view.

I live in a world of fantasy

so keep your reality away from me.

I see what i want,

I want what i see

and thats is all okay by me.

Everything is magic until it becomes routine.

It's not who you are that holds you back,

it's who you think you are.

The best things in life aren't things.

Life is like a taxi.

The meter just keeps ticking whether you are getting somewhere

or just standing still.

Anyone can be passionate,

but it takes real lovers to be silly.

We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird,

and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible to ours,

we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

I think you're beautiful,

but your hair's a mess

and your shoes are untied,

but thats what i love best.

The function of music is

to release us from the tyranny ofconscious thought.

These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper,

but minds alive on the shelves.

Sometimes not being in control

is the most beautiful thing in the world.

I've been missing you, its true.

2009-07-11T13:28:00.003+08:00

school was normal, i guess:/
we got mr ng back as our lit teacher,
and now lit lessons are back to normal(:
Mr ng's making us act out TKAM,
and he made me Dill!!
And ruth's Scout, so i gotta be like married to her,
oh and shabbna's atticus, so she's my half-dad.
that is all i remember from school.

i can't believe i spent the entire of last night listening to stephanie sun sing,
haha its like chinese?!!!?
yesterday's concert was pretty alright, some songs were quite boring.
ohoh there's this one song that i rmbr! its a slow song the title is ai or smth like tht.
haha, me and shalyn were singing along to it.
I HAVE A FRASIER!:D
its that lion thing, the ayg mascot.
oys its damn cute.

And there was this guy that sang also,
omg his voice was damn HOT.
srsly, it was sososo hot.
you shld've been there to hear him sing.
but ltr he sang a chinese song which totally spoilt his hotness.

anyway, pics are fb(:
im gonna upload them now.

2009-07-09T21:16:00.001+08:00

i'm going out of my mind trying to study about balls that vibrate in fixed positions.
THIS MAKES NO SENSE TO ME.

Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me

2009-07-07T20:10:00.003+08:00

Well i want you to notice,
to notice when i'm not around.
And i know that your eyes see straight through me,
and speak to me without a sound.

i want to hold you,
protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you,
the way that a father should love his daughter.

When i walked out this morning,
I cried as i walked to the door.
I cried about how long i'd be away for.
I cried about leaving you all alone .

Today was alright.
first of all, there was kelly's cake (hahah) which tasted really good, she shld totally be a baker when she grow up! And i can be the cop that arrests her for food poisoning(:
secondly, there was sara's expensive and awesome birthday present which she obviously loved.
oh my mother says she wants to send me for yoga lessons cos i keep yawning, no link rightt.
uh i can't really think of anything else to post about, so yeah:D
i've been feeling really weird these few days.

Being with you is so dysfunctional

2009-07-06T19:29:00.005+08:00

i totally regret cutting my fringe.
oys, i miss my fringe:/
now there's like nth there to cover my eyes!
i don't really like how my hair looks like now,
i'm gonna try fixing it now(:
gah i don't wanna go to school.

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues,
but you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you

2009-07-05T21:54:00.003+08:00

AYG BEACH VOLLEYBALL.
I'm exhausted.
The beach volleyball was held at sentosa, it was really cool.
today's sun wasn't that strong but it was hot, if you know what i mean.
so i was sitting at the stand and my legs were sweating like crazy,
that i could practically slide down my chair!
haha, anyway, the starting game wasn't that good
but the finals in the afternoon was much better.
it was THAILAND vs KAZATAN?or smth like that(:
i really wanted kazatan to win!!!!
both boys and girls finals were those 2 countries.
And in both boys and girls finals, thailand won.
what a pity, i really wanted kazatan to win,
but the thai people looked rather friendly so it was alright.
ohoh, and the match in the morning was CHINA vs INDO.
wow, indo really got thrashed by china.
and the china girls were super tall, they were around 185?

we also went cycling,
and we saw this super cute girl, who was being taken advantaged of by -!
gah, im too lazy to think of anything,
but today was fun(:
pics on fb!(:
------------------
passerby: i wonder why you'd think that way, i didn't even mention any word that has to do with death. Fyi, there are also several terrible things that can happen to you when you're still alive.besides, i don't see anything wrong with that post.

2009-07-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

AYG SWIMMING.
Quah ting wen is soso coooolll.
she swims reallyreally fast, she's like phelps jr. or smth:D
the ayg swimming event was pretty alright,
it was somewhat fun, we went to sports school.
OMG, sports school is sosososo nice compared to our school!!
seriously, their school is litted up so nicely at night,
and it feels like a museum or smth,
nothing like a school.
i love sports school, i wanna stay there.
oh and during the event, they were giving out free ayg merchandise,
gah, i wanted the bottle!!
it had they signature of Quah tingwen on it, plus the bottle didn't look that bad!(:

My sister saw me on tv cheering and singing the song,
omg, so embarrassing.
the entire event probably ended around 9 plus,
so after that, we went to causeway point and bought a waffle for dinner then headed home.

did i mention that on my way to meeting sx, i was approached by this guy who gave me this piece of paper that said " ONE WAY TO HEAVEN".
haha, i just thought it was really funny.
anyway, i shld be uploading the pics on fb so yeah.
go there to see!:D

2009-07-03T20:52:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wish i could just punch you in the face or smth,
take a look at yourself, i feel ashamed for you.
i never thought you'd actually go this far just for attention.
Don't you feel the least bit guilty when others approach you,
i mean i feel terrible for her but i feel worse for you.
you disgust me.

2009-07-02T18:56:00.002+08:00

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

Now I'm thinking back
To what I said before,
I hope your heart won't have to hurt anymore
Cause it's really not that sad from here
Because the moments I can feel you near
They keep you close to me, my dear.

Transvestite chick

2009-07-02T18:38:00.002+08:00

Today was rather predictable.
i ate so much i think i ain't gonna eat break tmr.
i need to fast and lose a lot of weight.
i wanna be 40kg, 41 max.

There are so many things to do,
and so little time.
anyway, tmr i might be going to cut my hair.
the day after i'll go to ssp, and bvb on sun.
i'm gonna be so tired.
but i can't wait for sunday!(:
i feel very accomplished, cos i finished my chinese work yesterday!

i miss my hairband a lottt):
i feel so empty without it.
my hair feels so long which makes me feel hot.
i feel so tired.

OHOH THERE WAS SMTH REALLY FUNNY IN SCHOOL TODAY,
THE TRANSVESTITE CHICK! HAHAHA.
THAT WAS COMPLETELY HILARIOUS. ESP THE DAD WHO TURNED OUT TO BE THE MOM.
HAHAHAHAHA, IT WAS DAMN FUNNY.

I just want to know how special you are to me

2009-06-30T21:32:00.002+08:00

i hate blogger, i can't upload the superr nice picture i took today.
ISABEL GENITAL.
i still haven't finish all my chinese hw yetttt.
i didn't even pass up my brochure that i rushed today.
oys, whats wrong with me.
i dunno why but i'd rather do emath and physics than chinese.
i mean chinese sucks.

You're forgetting us,
you're forgetting everything.
And I wanna hate you for my mistakes,
hate you for everything
This is goodbye, this is always.

You're cold but you're beautiful,
you're a mess but I like it that way,
i'm a fool, but only a fool knows a miracle.
And I won't ask for anything,
no, I won't ask for anything, ever again
Just give me this one thing,
that's all I ask,
that's all I ask.

2009-06-30T20:38:00.002+08:00

It's no surprise i won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that i stayed till today
yeah, you and i would be a tough act to follow,
But in time we'll find this was no surprise.
It came out like a river once i let it out,
when i thought that i wouldn't know how
held on to it forever, just pushing it down.
Felt so good to let go of it now,
not wrapping this in ribbons,
shouldn't have to give a reason why.

I knew i loved you

2009-06-29T22:06:00.003+08:00

I knew I loved you, before I knew you
The hands of time would lead me to you
An evening star, watched from afar
It guided me here,
It knew you'd be here
Now wrapped in moonlight, at last together
Here in the incandescent glow, we are all we need to know
As we softly please each other 'til the stars and shadows glow
and we sing with our dreams among us.

smth's wrong with me,
i actually like this song.

2009-06-29T21:56:00.002+08:00

When I look in your eyes
I see a whole different sky
Like I've never seen before
And when I hear your voice
It's like a song that I can listen to over and over again.

It's so crazy how you make me go crazy,
every time that I'm near you.

Cause you're just a dream
This is my reality
Totally insanity
If I could be in your dream
All I wanna do is be with you,be with you
You're just a dream,
just a dream.

WARNING: if you don't see me in school tmr, chinese killed me.
my dying wish: for cjy to get h1n1 and dieeee!!!(:

2009-06-29T21:50:00.002+08:00

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well

this goes out to a girl who's alone right now,
wearing a mask.
she's sexy and hot. wow, i can't keep my eyes off her,
and right now i can't stop thinking about her.

I CAN'T DO CHINESE

2009-06-29T21:46:00.002+08:00

Hello beautiful,

It's been a long time since my phone's rung

And you been on that line

I've been missing you

It's true

But tonightI'm gonna fly

Yeah tonightI'm gonna fly

'Cause I could go across the world, and see everything

And never be satisfied

If I couldn't see those eyes

GENITALS

2009-06-29T20:55:00.004+08:00

school is screwed, it feels so weird.
everything seems so different after the hols.
gah, maybe its just me.
btw if you're wondering, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HAIR AND IM GONNA CUT IT SOON.
Everyone keeps asking me whats wrong with my hair when i don't see anything wrong with it!!!
anyway, i gotta rush and do my chinese hw now or else chenjy will kill me.
srsly, she's making me hate chinese like nobody's business.
and why the hell must we do a brochure it makes no sense,
she's the one that gave us the hw at the last min and she expects it to be done in a day?!
wth, screw her lah. she shld just get h1n1 and be quarantined or smth.
what a pity, my day tmr will be totally ruined cos there's chinese.
gahhhhh.
I DON'T WANT TO DO MY CHINESE HW!!!!!

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
but it's not right

2009-06-26T23:16:00.002+08:00

i went prawning again today!(:
but we only caught one prawn AGAIN, which we kept alive as a pet!
we were halfway through bride wars when i suddenly had the greatest idea to go prawning!
haha, what was i thinking man.
oh and after that we went for a super early dinner at some korean steamboat and barbeque buffet.(GOSH IM FAT) the price was like CHILD(12 years and below) - 12.80 and ADULT- 19.80.
haha so we told them we were 12, and they totally believed it.
HAHA, THIS SHOWS HOW YOUNG I LOOK(:

after that i went home and ate somemore!): FAT.
ooh i watched bring it on! i lovelovelove bring it on.
and thats about it for the day, i wanna upload pics but my hp is like blacking over and over and over again!
gah. screw you, stupid handphone.

Transformers

2009-06-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

tranformers is damn nice.
there were some scenes where megan actually looked hot,
oh and she kinda looks like angelina jolie, but i'm just gonna disregard that cos angelina jolie isn't up to comparison. oh but she did look reallyreally hot in mr and mrs smith and wanted.
ok the thing is, megan fox looks like angelina jolie, and angeline jolie looks like jessica alba sometimes,
but the weird thing is that megan fox looks nothing like jessica alba!!
ok anyway, transformers was damn good and funny,
"what you're about to see is top secret, do not tell my mother!" hahaha, funny part!

oh then we wanted to watch monsters vs alien the 3d version, but it was only showing in vivo and tm,
so we took a train all the way there,
just to find out that we coudln't buy the tickets):
so we just walked round and round and round,
we walked from one mall to another then back again,
haha we were so bored, and my legs were about to break anytime,
so in the end we bought apple juice and sat down to drink:D

CHUCK

2009-06-24T23:36:00.006+08:00

I'm totally in love with chuck,
haha its funny.

Captain Awesome (in his naked "Adam" costume): "Wanna see my snake?"
Chuck: "I don't want to see your snake."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chuck: I wish i knew one true thing about you. Like where did you grow up? If that's too much i get it, i get it, if that's too much then what's your name? What's your real name?...Middle name? What's your middle name? Can't you just tell me your middle name? (Looking sad) I'm gonna go get us the napkins.(walks away)
Sarah: (Whispering) It's Lisa. My middle name is Lisa.

And i think sarah is pretty, i need to find out her name.
chuck's sister is quite pretty too.

Only 4 more days, i need to get ready for school, gotta be mentally prepared.

2009-06-23T23:48:00.002+08:00

Human relationships.

simple fact of human relationships: people come and people go.

someone we have loved with all of our hearts, could one day, just disappear from our lives. death muses the fragility of life, but the knowledge of rejection from a loved one could be worse. it's better to die loved, than to die from the rejection of love.

friends do come and go,
and many times we would have felt like the world just crashed upon us when we lose a friend,
be it on our own accord or not.

there are times when i would just drop everything that i'm doing, and just begin to think of the people who have left me, and also, the people whom i've left. and as i begin to focus on an individual person or a group, i would wonder, will there ever be a chance of reconciliation or reconnection?
not just a superficial handshake or apology, not even just a day of catching up, but a true, solid rejoining of broken bonds, a resumption of where we left off.
for a very few number of people, it has happened. and i dwell in the hope that it would happen once again.

how often do we form a relationship,
and spend the days counting down to its end?
how hard is it to reconcile,
to put away differences and come together and sort things out?
how awkward is it to finally meet up an old friend after years of neglect?
how different would things be if a relationship is restored?
how much would it change your life if you tried, and failed at reconciliation?
we could all find reasons, easily,
to carry on with our daily lives,
living our life as it is,
and not approach the topic,
making new friends and leaving old ones.

you've thought of why you'd leave, but have you thought of the reasons to stay?because only one will do.

Dying to live my life over again

2009-06-23T00:34:00.005+08:00

Tired of always saying sorry,
its just another fighting story,
and i can barely walk a straight line.
i'm tired of learning life the hard way,
i wish that being strong was easy,
but i want it more this time.

I was wrong. its hard to say,
at least i learned from my mistakes
i would change everything.
Cause i can't wait for the day when finally
i can say and you'll believe it,
i can change and now i mean it.
And i will fight for a way t omake up for the mess that i've been leaving
a second chance is all that i'm needing,
and i anything i can do to make it up to you,
i would do anything.

I was such a fool to hurt you
cause you're the one i always turn to when i'm going out of my mind.
i just bite the hand that feeds me instead of loving the ones that need me.

oysoysoysoys, for a specific reason(sbfs), i feel so screwed and irritated and disgusted

2009-06-20T22:07:00.004+08:00

IM DONE WITH ALL MY HOL HW EXCEPT CHINESE
cos cls nvr give me, so i couldn't be bothered.
i wish the hols would last longer,
i honestly don't wanna go back to school,
its like a living hell!:/
i'm running out of money!!!
i need to start saving all over agn):

i feel like eating, oys, did i mention im fat.
F-A-T!!!! as in like huge, gigantic, round, swollen, bulging!):
SO FAT, i wanna join the biggest loser.
im eating so much. gah i need to lose at least 3 kg.

take my hand and never let go.

Don't believe everything happiness says

2009-06-18T20:08:00.004+08:00

So low, but still breathing.
Funny how you show you care
Is hell still beneath me, or am I already there?
It seems I'm never breaking free
While you sit and watch me bleed,
when the night falls there's no where to go.
I won't let you in, let you see me cry.
I can't give you that satisfaction this time
Do you really get what you need beating the hell out of me?
I'm so tired of getting up off the floor
I won't take this anymore.

weird day again today, there were so many weird children!!
training again tmr and dental.
i'm gonna rush all my homework.
ohohoh and i've finally found a good story book to read, its been sososo long since i last read a book properly.
and today sucked cos i needed to pee the entire day!
stupid, i need a stronger bladder, haha im gonna train my bladder muscle!HAHA.
today's the 18th of june, i've got 3 more days to finish all my homework,

Pictures of you, pictures of me

2009-06-17T21:40:00.004+08:00

Today was a rather weird day.
didn't really do much.
now i gotta go and study,
my msn is having issues, its killing me!!!
and my headache has came back for me.
I have loved another with all my heart and soul,
and to me, this has always been enough

On the other side of the world

2009-06-16T21:27:00.002+08:00

OYS. HARPER'S ISLAND ROCKS!!
i'm currently hooked onto harper's island, its so nice.
i spent my day watching harper's island today i also did some hw!
oh and i played some game called snatch and smth else,
i was like really good at both, i kept on winning and winning.

i also had a match with this rgs girl today,
she's from RGS, so obviously i lost.
11-9, 11-7, 11-7.smth like tht.
i was hoping maybe c would go over to support her, but no!!!!
i can't really remember how c looks like anymore):

i realised that the holiday is coming to an end soon,
and i haven't finished my hw yettt.
i'm going to [nerd-mode] for the next few days(:
HAHA, I THINK I'M FUNNY BTW, [NERD MODE]!!! HAHAHAA.

2009-06-15T20:48:00.004+08:00

CONVERSATION BEFORE I WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT.

(E barges into the room and slams the door behind her)

E: OMG, MEGAN FOX IS SO HOT.
S:(stares at her) you know,my friend once told me that she was a transvestite.
E: shut up, don't lie! you have no proof
S: oh yes i do, the news was all over the internet, they even had pictures!!
E: i bet you didn't see it for yourself.
S: oh i did, but too bad it was censored, if not i would've taken a picture.
E:BUT her boobs looked real.
S: HA! i caught you! you had doubts about megan's true sex!
E: no i did not.
S: oh yes you did, you said it looked real. so that means you didn't think it was. and you know why its not real, cos she's actually a guy!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

E: megan fox is sooo hot!!!
S: now we all know why girls find her so damn hot, cos she's actually really a guy.
E: no, shut up. jessica alba's a guy!
S: yeah she's totally a guy who got married to another guy, had sex with him, got pregnant and gave birth to a child, unlike megan fox who's still unmarried btw, i wonder why she's still unmarried, afterall she's like the sexiest girl/GUY alive.
E: no she has a boyfriend.
S: who?
E: some person with the surname greene.
S: Rachel greene?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

E: there's this picture of her doing this. (E poses)
S: omg, did you see her penis?!?!?!?!
E: NO!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

AIN'T IT GREAT TO HAVE A SISTER LIKE ME?(:
FYI, IF YOU BELIEVED EVERYTHING I SAID, IT ISN'T TRUE!!

I wish i could be every little thing you wanted all the time

2009-06-14T21:50:00.007+08:00

training tmr.
harper's island plus aldrea leong the day after.
gahh. i have no time to study):
i have no mood to study and i just wanna die.
i gotta do my physics blog but im just too lazy!
i need to stop procrastinating,
my head hurts like hell.
it haven't hurt this much since that incident.
i need to learnt to use caps at the start of my sentences.
gahh.
i should go rest, my head is killing me.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time,
we are the ones we've been waiting for.
We are the change we seek.

PICTURES!:D

2009-06-12T22:16:00.005+08:00

PICTURES OF MON:

FAYE look-a-like!

omg, damn unglam

Right here for you now,

2009-06-12T20:48:00.017+08:00

We were supposed to go to ns for some ytsa stuff but somehow we ended up at suntec instead(:
Out of hunger, we decided to leave without entering the room to help.
so anyway, we walked around suntec and OMG AFTER SO LONGG I FINALLY ATE PEPPERLUNCH.
then we went to chee's hse for like a very short period of time.
im too lazy to talk abt my day.
so just check out the pics instead, some of them are pretty unglam,

OMG, FAT FACE = MEE!!!!

HAHA NOTICE SUXIA'S LEGS!

SIR STAMFORD SUXIA.

COUPLE PICTURE!

MY ARTISTIC PIC!(:

HAHA, BEEMAN.

THE REASON WHY YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR SHOES. suxia's(left) recently washed, mine(right) haven't been washed since it was bought(:

"gong xi fa cai, wo ai ni!"(HAHA)

idle time, idle mind

2009-06-11T20:57:00.007+08:00

i don't know what to blog about!!

i didn't even do anything todayyyy.

oh but i felt like gg to the beach today cos the sun was damn good.

anyway i'm going for this ytsa this tmr.

i'll have to go straight from training and i have no idea how to get there):

gahh.

this picture sucks!

Love unreturned is like a question without an answer.

2009-06-10T23:29:00.001+08:00

She wants to touch me, whoa oh
She wants to love me, whoa oh.
She'll never leave me whoa oh, woah oh oh oh.
Don't trust a hoe.
Never trust a hoe.
Won't trust a hoe.
'Cuz a hoe won't trust me.

EMO-BEL AND AWESOME-SYLVIA

2009-06-10T22:30:00.013+08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a sadsad emo girl, her name was emo-bel. [AUDIENCE: AWWWWW........]
Yes, emo-bel indeed lived a horrible life, filled with such intense sorrow and pain.But one day, she met this really cool person named awesome-sylvia. [AUDIENCE: WHOOOOOO!!!YOU ROCK SYLVIA, MARRY ME!!!]

And when she met awesome-sylvia, her entire facial expression changed, for she has not, in her entire life, ever met such an awesome person.

And there i stood, staring straight into her eyes. [ ELECTRICITY ZZZZZZZZ......]
Emo-bel was in a state of shock, so awesome-sylvia decided to slap some life into her.
However, right before awesome-sylvia's hand landed on emo-bel's face, her mouth began to move!! [AUDIENCE: GASP!GASP!:O WHAT A PITY, NO SLAP!]
So right there in her dim-litted room, emo-bel had attempted(with failure) to mouth out a few words.
[NARRATOR: EVERYONE, BE SURE TO KEEP IN MIND THAT EMO-BEL WAS ILLITERATE]

Unable to express herself, emo-bel decided to observe the awesomeness of awesome-sylvia.
And so, she stopped and stared at awesome-sylvia with eyes that were filled with curiousity.
[AUDIENCE: SHE'S SO LUCKY SHE GETS TO LOOK AT AWESOME-SYLVIA!!]

Being satisfied with what she had seen, emo-bel decided to make friends with awesome-sylvia.
She tried smiling. But did she succeed? NOT AT ALL. so, she tried even harder.

Emo-bel soon got tired of being rejected by awesome-sylvia, so she cornered the awesome and kept smiling at her. [THE AUDIENCE RUNS AWAY SCREAMING THEIR HEADS OFF!!]
Due to her scarily freakish smile, awesome-sylvia had no choice but to accept her as a friend.
[AUDIENCE: OH NOOOO!!!]
Emo-bel was so happy, she couldn't stop smiling! AND SHE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER BEING THE SIDEKICK OF AWESOME-SYLVIA.

THE END!![APPLAUSE]

I FEEL HIGH, IGNORE THE CAPS

2009-06-10T22:16:00.003+08:00

I WENT TO BEL'S HOUSE TO STUDY TODAY.
WE KINDA FAILED!
OH WE ATE SUPERNICE KIMCHI NOODLES
AND WE WATCHED JUMPER,
THE GIRL TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE SUMMERRRRRR.
OHOH AND GGS2!!!!!!
SO NICE!
OMG BLAIR'S DATING A GUY WHOSE MOTHER IS MAKING OUT WITH HER EX.
HAHAHAHA.
I LIKE THE PETROL STATIONS, BUT I DIDN'T GET TO GO THERE TODAY):

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I DID TODAY!
BUT I DON'T CARE CUZ I FEEL GOOOOOD.
I TOOK LOADS OF UNGLAMS TODAY!!(:
I FEEL LIKE I'VE ACCOMPLISHED SMTH GREAT.

PICTURES IN THE NEXT POST!

GAHH

2009-06-10T12:03:00.002+08:00

GAH THEY'RE COLLECTING CAMP PICS TODAY):
AND IF I GO, I GET TO SEE C-L-A,
BUTT I'M NOT FREE!!!!
GAHHHHH.
I HOPE SHE'S NOT FREE TOO(:

i have a feeling smth bad is gonna happen today.

I'm gonna miss you forever,

2009-06-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

I finished my bio paper!!

awesome.

one subject done,eleven more to go.

i went to bishan lib today.

I: -finished up my bio,

-did one page of chem,

-failed to watch gossip girl,

-had a laptop dropped on my foot,

-ate a huge sandwich,

-took a lot of unglams and showed off my artistic photography abilities(:

then we went to j8 (in hope that i might be lucky and bump into her!!)

j8 = bel's hometown = BORING = heartland mall

but, j8 is better cos it has balls(:

oys, i made a discovery today.

balls were invented for me!!

they started in 1994! WOW :O

so we ate balls, walked around.

went to jx's house,

then i brought warmth to their hearts when i started singing(:

ok, time to insert a quote here:

"The key to eternal bliss is sylvia's voice" - sylvia.

wow, she must have been a great woman to be able to come up with such a quote,

she's magnificient and superb,

and absolutely fantastic!

so anyway, my incredible voice inspired them to eat ice cream so we went to the pukka place for ice cream.

haha, NEW DISCOVERY!

BUTTERSCOTCH + CHEESECAKE = SOUR BEER!!!

srsly, i had a hard time eating it(:

oh and we sang there, and the worker loved our singing.

i could almost see the temptation in her eyes to shout aloud" ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!"

But me, BEING SO NICE AND GREAT, spared her the suffering and just kept singing(:

ohohoh, people even recorded the singing,

i guess it was probably just too brilliant afterall(:

PHOTOS!

The ice cream shop!

MY SOUR BEER ICE CREAM!

Hey girl, i'm sad.
I heard that you were leaving.
You can't go,
You're my best friend,
i'm sure i'm gonna miss you

So i act cool on the outside, but its eating me alive

2009-06-08T19:53:00.000+08:00

Today was kinda fun(:

"OH, NO MORE MITSUBIISHI LANCER"

we went for lunch aftr trng,

then sx wanted to buy contacts so we walked round heartland for 20mins,

and we got this butterfly from gift-a-name and we started playing with it(:

this is their failure attempt of trying to capture a picture of me tgt with the butterfly:

haha, in the end i twisted the butterfly too hard and it broke(:

we took so many pictures but stupid shalyn don't wanna come online and send me!):

nvm, i'll post all the pics and talk more abt my camp another time!!

Back to boredom,

2009-06-07T21:15:00.003+08:00

I'M BACK FROM CAMP!(:
Though it was kinda boring at times, it turned out to be pretty fun overall.
i'll talk more about it another time,
i hope they send me the grp pics!!

TRAINING TMR!!!!
i think i'm gonna watch gg now(:

SCIENCE CENTRE

2009-06-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

I think i need a break from my handphone(s),
thank god for the upcoming camp,
i'm not really exicited about it,
but still, i'll be away from the rest of the world and i'll be able to have some time to keep my mind of stuff.

Anyway, today i went to the science centre again!(:
we kinda got in for free cos of yb!!!
ok i know that sounds really nerdy,
but it wasn't really that bad,
i was a little more boring than i expected it to be,
but the water works was fun,
and the blood pressure machine was totally SCREWED.
i took a picture in a nose!
it was alright, i had fun(:

We went to bishan pasta mania for dinner,
ohoh, and i sat the circle line for the first time!!!!!
it felt really small and new.

i think i'm addicted to gossip girl,
its nice(:
BUT I NEED TO STUDY!):
i gotta finish at least one hw before leaving for camp.

tmr's gonna be a super long day,
training in the morn, competition in the afternoon that would probably last the entire day.

i think my blog's really boring!
And evern though i didn't do any work today, i learnt smth new.
ALWAYS TAKE THE ESCALATOR, DON'T TAKE THE LIFT, ITS DANGEROUS!!!!!

2009-06-02T11:44:00.000+08:00

Aubrey's gone.

This isn't goodbye, even as i watch you leave

2009-06-01T20:26:00.003+08:00

i had training with the new coaches today.
The training started off pretty horribly, but it ended up alright.
i kinda like it when he feeds us the ball,
though he does it really quickly and it gets really tiring after a while.
uh, training was alright(:

june hols are starting to bore me,
i seriously don't wanna go near my books):
im starting to like watching gossip girl(:
its quite nice.
BLAIR IS HOT but bitchy.
serena's nice.
chuck looks constipated, i have no idea why.
nate looked ugly in the beginning but he looks much better now.

i need new -.
the ones i have are sooooooooo -.
ok fill in the blanks if you're smart enough.

Mistakes

2009-06-01T20:12:00.003+08:00

God i miss the girl.

I'm holding on to something that used to be there,

hoping it will come back, knowing it won't.

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you,

and every song I heard was somehow related to you.

I hate days like today,

because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.

I just want you to know that despite everything that has happened

and all the miles between us right now,

I still think about the way it was in the beginning.

i miss you):

I was born to tell you i love you

2009-05-31T20:59:00.003+08:00

I love you.
These 3 words are said too easily.
A simple ' i love you' can brighten one's day when said with utmost honesty and sincerity.

I got myaelf into this, now i've got to get myself out.
what was i thinking,
i need a shrink.
i need help cause this is driving me crazy.

Missing you isn't the hard part,
knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart.

All or nothing

2009-05-30T21:28:00.002+08:00

That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over, over.

It's not the way I choose to live,
And something somewhere's got to give ,
as sharing this relationship gets older.
You know I'd fight for you,
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there .
I've had the rest of you,
now I want the best of you,
I dont care if that's not fair.

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
but i don't show it

Is it all.
Or are we just friends?
Is this how it ends,
with a simple telephone call,
you leave me here
with nothing at all.

The sound of settling,

2009-05-30T19:39:00.002+08:00

awesome, my internet's finally working again!
this doesn't feel like june hols at all,
i feel as if im being drained of my energy
and soon enough, im gonna die.

Anyway, i had a match today at csc.
i won, so im like in the next round.
ohoh, IM ADDICTED TO TAPTAP.
THE SOUND OF SETTLING.
i vow to beat bel's highscore! i don't believe i can't do it.
i never thought that i could be addicted to such a game.
oys, smth's wrong with me!!

yesterday was a really long day.
went to school early in the morning,
went to bio polis from there,
ps for lunch, vivo, movie and blah.
im so bored with my life.
ohoh, ghost whisperer had a really stupid ending last night.
she got married.
Thats like the worst ending ever.
they didnt even show who the girl with no face was.
blah, life is boring.

ZOO!

2009-05-25T19:44:00.003+08:00

i went to the zoo today!
i felt really stupid cos i didnt bring my camera,
and i didnt bring money!):
couldn't buy anything!!):

anyway, today we went to see the polar bear and the white tiger.
apparently, the polar bear is very similar to sha cos its actual skin colour is black!
ohoh, we also saw bel's family(:

THE BABOONS!!

take a look at this man:

Introducing..ISABEL!

SHE LOOKS HOT!(:

Aubrey the bird!:D

2009-05-23T21:45:00.002+08:00

Aubrey!(:
i love you, aubrey.
you're so cute.
i think this picture sucks cos my phone camera sucks,
but in real life(not pics) she is cute!!!

You refuse to eat,

you shitted on me): - i had to bathe.

you keep making that weird bird whining noise.

you keep pecking me when im trying to feed you.

but i still love you cos,

your peckings dont hurt,

the noises are pretty cute at times,

you shitted and peed on jiaxuan more times(:

and you are sososo cute when you snuggle up and sleep(:

aubrey is so cute!

and my mother wants to send it to spca):

i refuse to let her touch it!

aubrey is gonna sleep in my room every night!

oh btw, aubrey is a baby so it can't fly,

so it'll never be able to escape from me!!!!haha(:

PRAWN!

2009-05-23T21:19:00.008+08:00

Saturdays are starting to feel so much better cos i have no chinese tuition and sports tuition(:

Today, i went back to school for p6 open house.

stupid liang nvr tell us must stay back for the jsa thing.

anyway, there was this girl that came to play with me,

surprisingly, she was damn good.

she should come to pl sec and join table tennis,

if not her talent would be like totally wasted.

but apparently, her mother wants her to join harp):

hello? harp isn't good! she should join table tennis(:

So after p6 open house i went for lunch then i went prawning!(:

cool right.

ok at first it was really boring cos we couldn't catch anything

but in the end we managed to get one prawn(:

the prawn was cool, and i was sure it died when we took it out of the water.

so we cooked the prawn there and shared it, it was kinda pathetic actually.

but it was alright, i didn't really care.

oh, after that i bought this dark chocolate ice-cream which tasted like durian!:D

then i went home(:

OUR ONLY PRAWN!(:

the prawn's claw!

our cooked prawn!(:

2009-05-22T20:28:00.001+08:00

when will you ever stop using me?

hello,

2009-05-21T22:32:00.002+08:00

I've been alone with you inside my mind
and in my dreams
i've kissed your lips a thousand times.
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes,
i can see it in your smile,
you're all i've ever wanted,
and my arms are open wide.
cause you know just what to say,
and you know just what to do,

And i want to tell you so much,
i love you.

Justified,

2009-05-19T20:15:00.002+08:00

I would fall asleep,
only in hopes of dreaming that everything would be like it was before,
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting.
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor.

ok, i think there are like some sec ones that hate me,
but i dont really care.
wtv.

anyway, i got back emath and chem today.
i passed them both but like horribly.
uh my chinese i got 68(:
i wanted 70 but nvm, im satisfied.

ok, i can't wait for the new coach to come,
im dying to see who it is!(:

anyway, training is boring.
we played king's table.
i partnered emily and we won yaoyao once!(:
haha, like finally.
and after that we went for a run around the school.
wl, i ran till my entire body's aching now):
my shoulder's really hurting.

oh did i mention, im taking part in ichallenge!
badminton! with amanda.
yeah.
i know i've got a rather boring life(:
but wtv.
i don't care(:

AUBREY

2009-05-18T20:22:00.002+08:00

GAH. im addicted to aubrey !):
its such a nice song.

i got back my chinese today,
it was pretty ok(:
im kinda happy with it.
and uh i also know that i failed my chem paper but i thank god i still passed overall.

um, oh today's lit lesson was like the most boring lit lesson ever.
but i shan't be mean, she's a nice person.
i feel like i haven't been learning anything in lit classes ever since cheryl sim left):
gahh. i gotta pull myself together,
but i can't do it.
i want so bad to give up and rest.

training today was rather boring too.
ok maybe its just me, cos i'm finding everything boring.
ms liang go make us run ONE ROUND around the hall.
hello? one round you might as well not run la, please eh.
then when we went back into the hall,
the badminton girl's were like laughing at us.

after training, me and shalyn went to macs(:
i just had a craving.
oh then suddenly shalyn said smth bout going for sports school open house.
then i said i wanted to go!
we were kinda like commenting that the only reason suxia wanna go is to see isabelle li.
so i was wondering whether CHLOE would be there(:
then i scared shalyn ltr no one to look at,
so i told her that she can go there and look at wangyuegu!
hahahaha, its damn funny.
we just sat there and kept laughing.
nvm if you don't get it.

Anyway, smth really stupid and irritating happened today.
SOMEONE who couldn't even spell my name correctly,
wrote on a piece of paper that sylvia sucks and hung it outsude their classroom window.
it was really really childish can.
i mean hello? what did i ever do to you.
i can't help it if i don't like you right.
and i don't see whats wrong with staring at the paper.
someone in the class went like " STARE WHAT STARE LA"
ok, first of all, horrible english.
second of all, they're my eyes, you have no rights to stop me from staring.
and SOMEONE kept shouting go away, go away
her classmate on the other hand was shouting " sorry sylvia, sorry, sorry."
but ignoring her classmate, i really wanted to slap that SOMEONE.
i don't even know you.
but i really wanna slap you.
gah stupid pos, screw you.

ohohoh, stupid we'll be having this stupid sports science package thing.
its so lame):
i don't wanna go cos all the other sports ccas are gonna be there):
i just want the aus grp!
oh yeah, and i'll have to wear a hairband on wed
if not ms deepa wont let me into the lab!):

gah, school is starting to kill me.

Our last goodbye,

2009-05-17T14:24:00.003+08:00

I swore to you on everything I am.
And I dedicated to you all that I have.
I promised you that I will stand right by your side,
Forever and always until the day I die.

How can you be friends with someone,
if everytime you look at them,
it makes you want them even more.

For the hearts that never played in tune,

2009-05-15T20:25:00.003+08:00

I wouldn't have missed it for the world,
wouldn't have missed loving you, girl.
You've made my whole life worth while,
with your smile.
I wouldn't trade one memory,
cause you mean too much to me.
Even though I lost you girl,
I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Today, the weirdest thing happened.
me, kelly and yvonne were eating cup noodles,
and there was this really werid girl who was attempting to play doe a deer(i can't spell)
i was horrible btw,
so after we ate, kelly wanted to go home, so we were walking back to class to take our bags.
then as we walked the staircase, the ''bad pianist'' was standing there talking to herself!!
it wasa damn freaky.
so we started walking really fast and when we turned around to look,
she was walking towards us!
so we started panicking and running toward the stairs.
at first, me being so mature, didn't wanna run.
But when i turned around,
i saw her like running in our direction.
so i just panicked and started running too!
haha, when we got to class,
kelly apparrently saw her outside,
hahhaaha

it was hilarious.
cos after that we were so paranoid,
and kept thinking that she was hiding behind the wall to scare us!(:

anyway, i failed amath):
but i passed physics.
yeah, i think i failed chem too.
but wtv.
im damn tired of school now.
school is so boring, it ain't fun no more.
maybe it was never fun to being with.

Wish that I had found the way,
And the reasons that would make her stay.
I have learned to lead a life apart from all the rest.
If I can't have the one I want, I'll do without the best.

i don't know you, but i want you,

2009-05-14T21:15:00.002+08:00

I miss you a little,
I guess you could say
a little too much,
a little too often,
and a little more each day.

I’m going to smile,
and make you think I’m happy.
I’m going to laugh,
so you don’t see me cry.
I’m going to let you go in style,
and even if it kills me,
I’m going to smile.

The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.
I just realized, it's so lonely being free.

No one can promise they’ll never hurt you,
because at one time or another they will.
The real promise is that the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

You don't realize how much you care about someone
until they don't care about you.

DANNY IS OUT.

2009-05-14T20:52:00.002+08:00

Danny is out(:
hahah, yeah man!
ok actually i'd rather adam be out but who cares.
i like kris!
i want kris to win, since allison is out, kris should totally win.
i mean hello? ADAM IS GAY.
haha kris is cool!(:
he sings the best songs, he has an awesome voice,
he should totally win!(:

American idol is nicee(:

Why do you do this to me,

2009-05-14T19:26:00.002+08:00

To be treated that way,
im used to it.
its no use apologising,
cause right now, im done.
im done with trying.

Lately i've been feeling really weird.
i feel as if i've lost a part of me.
Maybe i did, or maybe im just about to.
i have completely no idea.
And i've been trying so hard to fill that hole in my heart,
but nothing seems to work well.
it makes me feel so empty.
its like there's something missing in my life.
I have never ever felt like this before, and it feels so weird,
and its making me really frustrated.

i just want my life back,
im sorry.

X MEN

2009-05-12T22:07:00.002+08:00

AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME.
XMEN WAS TOTALLY AWESOME.
it was really nice(:

wolverine was totally cool,he should've decapitated his brother,
then do the same for striker!
that'll be cool.
but he shouldn't have lost his memory):
his wife/girlfriend was rather pretty, i love her power!:D
she's cool.

anyway, exams are finally over.
i can finally rest!:D
awesome.
i can think straight again, back in no time(:

Ain't no sunshine,

2009-05-12T21:56:00.002+08:00

Everyone tells me I should forget about you,

you don't deserve me.

They're right, you don't deserve me,

but I deserve you.

Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn't think you wanted.
The world is a place that possesses much complexities,
and the only thing that remains constant is change.

Trying to forget someone you love,
is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
It only takes a couple seconds to say hello, but forever to say goodbye.

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
I don't miss you, i miss who i thought you were.
Or did i even know you.

What i really meant to say,

2009-05-08T20:19:00.002+08:00

Your sorry eyes, they cut through bone.
they make it hard to leave you alone.
Leave you here, wearing your wounds,
waving your guns at somebody new.

Baby you're lost,
Baby you're a lost cause.
I'm tired of fighting,
i'm tired of fighting for a lost cause.

And as you walked away,
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife,
Cut so deep it hurts.
I held back the tears, held on to my pride
and watched you go.

I wonder if you'll ever know.

Beauty in the breakdown,

2009-05-07T17:00:00.003+08:00

I totally screwed physics and chem today):
Chem was better than last term though, its just that i didn't finish my paper.
oys, i feel so damn dumb.
physics is so damn screwed, i hate physics.
why the hell do we learn physics!
SS was fine, lit was stupid, emath was so-so.
I'm luckyto have gotten full marks for my emath quiz, if not i think i'd fail.

3 more papers!
stupid, chinese and amath tmr):
im gonna fail.
gahhhh. oys, i'll be having nsw tmr also!
so sian, oys plus kim's party.

i need to destress!
im like wasting my time studying cos nothing goes in.
and i studied so hard for physics, just to fail.
whats the point.

gahh, ok i gtg drown myself in amath and chinese.

Too close for comfort,

2009-05-02T21:49:00.003+08:00

I can't talk to you anymore,
it's not that I am mad at you,
it's just that when I talk to you,
I realize how much I love you,
and when I realize how much I love you,
I realize I can't have you
and that makes me love you even more.

If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you.
If I hadn't liked you, I wouldn't love you.
If I hadn't loved you, I wouldn't miss you.
But I did, I do and I will.

She left me

2009-04-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

she walked in,
and said she didn't want to know anymore.
before I could ask why, she was gone out the door
I didn't know what I did wrong,
but now I just can't move on.

SInce she left me she told me,
don't worry, you'll be ok,
you don't need me,
believe me,
you'll be fine.
then i knew what she meant,
and its not whats she said.
And now i can't believe, she's gone.

one boy, one girl

2009-04-27T20:12:00.002+08:00

She walked in, their eyes met, and they both stared.
And right there and then,
everyone else disappeared

One boy, and one girl,
two hearts beating wildly.
To put it mildly,
it was love at first sight.
He smiled, she smiled,
and they knew right away
that this was the day they'd waited for all their lives.
And for a moment the whole world,
revolved around one boy and one girl.

this song has been stuck in my head for so damn long.

SYLVIA + HAMSTERS = AWESOMEE

2009-04-27T19:56:00.002+08:00

I don't see why its that hard for people to believe that i have hamsters!
Since when does sylvia and hamsters dont go,
and since when does sylvia and ferociously mad and gigantic dog totally goes!

You guys got it all wrong,
SYLVIA + HAMSTERS = AWESOMEE(:
Today, i discovered my hidden talents of being a hamster-sitter.
there was 2 hamsters, one called keiri and the other called keira(:
one boy, one girl.
they were practically inseperable and were obviously in love with one another.
They were so so so cute, and they always slept together.
And when you take the guy one away, the girl will wake up and start looking for him,
they're so cute.

oh and i really "connect" well with the boy one, though i still preferred the girl one cos its much cuter(:
The boy hamster let me tickle its tummy!(:
when i placed my finger in front of him, he'll like turn over and i can tickle his tummy and he enjoys it!
he's really cute.
oh and btw, he's racist(:
Cause he didnt wanna go onto kelly's or sha's hands(:
The girl, on the other hand, kept on biting me.
she bit and bit and bit and bit.
actually it was more like a nibble and it doesn't really hurt, but its still pain after awhile):

uh yeah, actually all i can remember about today is the hamsters(:
i can't really think of anything else.
they're so cute! how many times have i said that.

I LOVE KEIRI AND KEIRA(:

Overthinking

2009-04-25T21:37:00.003+08:00

I was thinking,
overthinking.

i officially hate saturdays.
i have so many things happening on saturdays and i hardly even have time to rest):
its supposed to be rest day for me!

anyway, i went to the singapore flyer today:D
srsly, its a waste of money and time.
its really boring, oh but the sunset was really nice.
after that i went for dinner at suntec.
i went to guild house.

i had sports tuition today,
it was boring cos i didnt do much.
then i had tuition,
i almost cried studying chinese man,
so difficult and there's so much to know.
i felt so dumb.
why must i be a chinese, why can't i be like an american.

today was rather good actually, despite all my tiredness.
ok i wanna go play my pokemon now, i must overtake deanna!(:

P1 PICTURE

2009-04-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

OMG. FIND ME. IM SO SHORT.

I can't make you love me,

2009-04-24T19:43:00.002+08:00

The week has finally came to an end.
My past two weeks sucked like hell.
i just wanna die, but whatever.
so many tests, i can swear im gonna fail them all.
Social studies, Amath,Lit, Physics, English compre, Emath.
if thats not enough, i still have to do stupid stuff for the stupid table tennis finals comepetition which totally wasted my time.
But actually it didnt totally waste my time,
cos RGS was there(:
but they didn't win):

oh! and i gotta say, yvonne has the most awesomest camera with the bestest zoom ever.
I WANT THE PICTURE(:(:
btwbtw fyi, this is not called obessession( can't spell)

today i had my first experience of inertia!
i ran with sha for the last round of her 2.4,
then she suddenly half-way stop and i had to push her.
I ALMOST DIED, I COULDN'T MOVE HER!
hahaha, im weak):

nth much happened this week,
thats about it.

one more thing, I WANNA GO FOR SOP. SOMEONE GIVE ME A TICKET.

Move on

2009-04-18T18:23:00.002+08:00

Your words they never spoke so clear to me,
the way they did that day.
I always dreamed we'd be forever,
I always thought it'd be ok.
I took for granted all you gave me,
I never thought you'd go away.
Was this not love that we were sharing,
I thought love never went away.

Say goodbye to memories,
Cause I have said so long.
Say goodbye to all our dreams,
It's time now to,
move on.

I see now this is where our story ends
So just move on I'm told
Today I loved someone for three years
Tomorrow learn to just let go
To have your best friend always be there
Then one day to see her go
My world is falling all around me
And girl your all I know

And on and on I've tried to
Let go
My mind cannot forget you
You're all I know

here is gone

2009-04-18T18:11:00.002+08:00

I've decided.
i should study. i'm in a study-ish mood now.
but i'm too lazy to touch the books.

there was sports tuition today.
i went there, studied physics, then left.
i studied the entire chap on moments.
went home, played pokemon for like 15 mins?
then i left for tuition.
tuition.tuition.tuition.
after tuition, i went home, ate lunch then played pokemon.
then i watched hannah montana, and i went to bathe.
now im on the com.

wow, what a wonderfully exciting day.
blogging becomes such a chore when i've lost the blog-gish mood):

ohoh, i passed my chem online test thingy(:
i got 17/25.
not bad right, thats only cause i had help from a genius that i blessed with a brain!:D

i need a break. i need a holiday. i need to relax. i need time off from the world.
i need to die.

what would you do if i died?

Not worth it.

2009-04-16T19:59:00.003+08:00

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it,
and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you.
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind,
underneath a disguise of a smile.
Gradually I'm dying inside
friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering

So what do you do
When somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue of the pain,
that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride,and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way?"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away?

how could i be so blind.

What hurts the most,

2009-04-13T20:03:00.006+08:00

Try to remember the magic that we shared
In time your broken heart will mend
I never used you, you knew I really cared
I hate to see it have to end
But it's over.

I really don't know what to say to you anymore,
I guess you're not who i expected you to be.
There's so many things i just can't figure out.
was i even on your mind when you said those words,
did you even think about how i would feel.

now i think that you're just not worth it.
i'm not going down the same road for you,
someone who doesn't even spare a thought for me,
With those words leaving your mouth, even if its a joke,
i don't care, and i won't any longer.
I've had about enough of you.

Even though there's so many things i'm clueless about,
i know one thing's for sure.
Every single one of you are liars and hypocrites, and i don't know why i'm the only one who's able to see it.

Call it friend-hopping, but you guys don't know the story behind it.
honestly i want this to end, but i give up.

SICK AND TIRED seriously

2009-04-11T20:44:00.003+08:00

Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels lost with no direction.
My faith is shaking,
But I gotta keep trying,
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain,
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be a uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking,
sometimes might knock me down.
But no, I'm not breaking.
I may not know it,
but these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most.
yeah, just gotta keep going

Just keep pushing on.

Please don't leave me,

2009-04-09T20:57:00.003+08:00

It never crossed my mind at all,
that's what i tell myself.
What we had has come and gone
you're better off with someone else
It's for the best, i know it is.
But i see you,
sometimes i try to hide,
what i feel inside.

Tell me why,
You're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me
I'm not over it.
Tell me why, i can't seem to face the truth.

Memories,
Supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong, moving on.

I could hold you

2009-04-07T20:41:00.003+08:00

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
i would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
there's no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do,
to make you feel my love.

Come back to me,

2009-04-06T20:23:00.002+08:00

You say you gotta go and find yourself ,
You say that you're becoming someone else,
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you.

You say you're leaving as you look away,
I know there's really nothing left to say,
Just know I'm here whenever you need me,
I'll wait for you.

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free.
And when you've seen what you need to see,
When you find you, come back to me.

Today, i made a contract/agreement/ treaty or wtv you call it with her,
and if you're reading this,
i wanna tell you that i've got my reasons for it,
im really afraid that i'll - thats why i made the agreement,
seriously, you can kill me if i break it(:

i'm feeling so nice now,
chloe is pretty!(:
OYS, SHE IS PRETTY, SMART AND GOOD AT TABLE TENNIS.
she's like close to perfect.
i think she's really pretty(: AND I AM NOT OBSSESSING OVER HER (i cant spell)
its called idolising, not obsessing, however you spell it(:

Breakdown

2009-04-04T21:21:00.002+08:00

Though i have no idea why you're doing this to me, i assume its my fault again,
and i sorry.
there's no use in being sorry cos right now, no one will feel sorry for you.(HAHA quoted from grey girl)
when will it ever end?

But right now, putting that aside,
i feel that i've finally seen the light,
and everything, everything makes sense,
even physics.

anyway, today we had sports tuition.
in the beginning, it was kinda boring but i made it through doing AMATH!(:
then i went to joy's house,
i suspect her dog has a secret crush on me(:
im crazy.

soon enough you're gonna think of me,
and how i used to be.

Blind.

2009-04-03T20:24:00.002+08:00

There's another world inside of me,
that you may never see.
There are secrets in this life,
that I can't hide.

Somewhere in this darkness,
there's a light that i can't find.
Maybe its too far away,
or maybe im just blind.

Maybe i'm just blind.

A guiltless twisted lie that made me learn to hate you

2009-04-03T20:09:00.003+08:00

I have a sad life, so i've got nth much to blog about.
its finally the end of the week, this week i've found out about loads of stuff.
first, i found out that - and - were like -.
and i also found out that - eyecandy -
and uh, oh i realised that i was scary, cos some sec one girl by the name of alexandra,
she was so scared of me, she almost cried just cos i said hello.
and it was in my nice voice ok!

oh and smth else i found out is that i suck cos i finally felt it.
it happened again, and i can't believe i was stupid enough to forget it.
im gonna do my best not to -- again.

perfect, grab a knife and stab me in the back.

I will love you baby, always.

2009-03-30T20:11:00.002+08:00

Today we had our new sitting arrangements!
im sitting with justin(:
she's like wow.
First, she ruins my green toes and disfigure him into MR HAIRY BLUE TOES!
Next, she cuts up the plastic of my bottle,
AND she finds a ladybug on my crocodile and names it slyvia?
haha but i gotta say, the ladybug was kinda cute(:

but i know all of these weren't done by deanna,
who cares! just put the blame on her(:

uh, my life seems to be getting more boring by the second.
nothing exciting has happened lately.
ohohoh, my juniors are playing anglican tmr!(:
THEY HAD BETTER WIN, OR ELSE I WILL KILL THEM OR SMTH.
seriously, if they win, they can easily make it through to the top4!
i'd be so proud of them(:

training was normal, i forgot to bring my bat.
yeah, nothing much happened today.

All wrong,

2009-03-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

i feel so mean, i actually forgot that today was my dad's birthday.
haha, even with the reminders from my phone, i still forgot.
i think i'm having some memory issues.

im damn tired. i should probably head for bed now,
my only time to rest, i need to sleep!
damn tired):

i survived the week man,
i almost died.
so much happened this week,
i think im losing my mind :O

i like that face(:
haha,

btwbtwbtw, EARTH HOUR TODAY!
830-930.

ok, time to sleep!(: finally.

Take a risk, take a chance, make a change.

2009-03-27T20:54:00.002+08:00

Today was our school's sports day,
it was so boring! BUT, CHEW WAS THE OVERALL CHAMPION AGAIN(:
actually, i was kina surprised that we got overall champion, cos our cheer was like pathetic.
it wasn't even a cheer, the mascot was cute though.
COOKIE MONSTER! i like the cookies(:

so anyway, i went to hougang mall after that.
we ate at cafe cartel then went to rachel's house.
we played table tennis there!
it was fun.

oh and i thought of smth that we can do during our table tennis camp,
WE SHOULD TOTAllY MAKE THEM BEG FOR MONEY, UNTIL THEY GET AT LEAST 2 DOLLARS THEN THEY CAN LEAVE THE STATION(:
and also, we are planning to get a table tennis jacket.
There was this really nice jacket that we saw last time, it was damn nice and we wanted to buy it.
but they said it wasn't worth it):

i'm damn tired,
MY FACE AND EYES ARE RED!
i got burnt!

LGFUAD

2009-03-26T21:23:00.005+08:00

I should've known better,
you aren't any different from the others,
you guys suck.
sometimes you should probably just try to lower your expectations,
so maybe you won't get hurt that much.
you want so much from me, and i just can't give you all of that.
you acted like you knew me so well, but the truth is, you never did try to understand me at all,
so don't you judge me for something i did not do.